Mixed Bag

Joe's Corner

1. "A Very Long Engagement". A young man and a young woman who have been involved romantically since childhood are seaparated by war (World War I), and the woman gets the news that the man is missing in action. But she's convinced she'd know if he was dead, and becomes determined to risk her own life to find and rescue him. With a plot like that, you could easily get either a Harlequin-romance level love story of almost unbearable sappiness, or a grimly realistic war story akin to the more violent moments of "Saving Private Ryan". But coming from the director who gave us "Delicatessen", "City Of Lost Children", and "Amelie" (with this film's star, Audrey Tatou) what we get is something else altogether. The romantic aspects of the story and the horrors-of-war angle are filtered through director Jeaneau's surrealistic sensibilities, in which few characters or situations are presented in a completely realistic manner, and as a result make themselves felt all the more deeply than if they'd received the traditional treatment. Audrey Tatou gives fans of "Amelie" just a slight taste of her character from that film, but mostly builds some familiar elements into a portrait of a very different kind of person. And of course, as with all of the director's other films, it's great to look at. All in all, not what you might be expecting, but exactly what you're very likely to enjoy.

2. "Meet The Fockers". Talk about contrast... "Meet The Fockers" is a shining example of how to put together all the right elements in all the wrong ways. I was among those who thought the original "Meet The Parents" was quite funny (no classic, mind you, but quite amusing). This 4-years-later sequel loses no opportunity to throw tasteless, juvenile gross-out humor in our faces and wallow in it. That would make this film an embarassment even if it starred people on the level of Ashton Kutcher, but "Meet The Fockers" brings in Dustin Hoffman and Barbra Streisand (the latter in her first movie in EIGHT YEARS) as Ben Stiller's parents, and of course returns Robert Deniro from the original. Memories of "Tootsie", "Funny Girl" and "Taxi Driver" will seem a long, long way off as you watch these three embarass themselves in the name of a paycheck. Does the notion of a cat tricking a dog into leaping into a toilet bowl and then FLUSHING IT strike you as the height of humor? Well, that's one of the MORE respectable gags in this movie. Truly, how the mighty have fallen.

3. "The Phantom Of The Opera". The film version of the Broadway musical is AT LEAST the fifth official theatrical movie of this story, not counting at least one TV version and countless rip-offs and imitations. For the most part, with a very few scenes as exceptions, every one of those versions was more memorable than this one. Andrew Lloyd Webber's tradition of composing basically four or five songs (only one of which is even vaguely good) which are repeated endlessly throughout the show instead of doing a legitimate full score is in full force here, and it gets nearly intolerable to hear the same boring songs that many times. It might have been a little easier if the cast members could actually sing, but rather than getting real singers, or dubbing good actors, director Joel Schuemaker (aka The Man Who Destroyed the "Batman" franchise) does neither, and very few of the cast members can do either. (The exceptions being Minnie Driver, who actually CAN sing but is the only dubbed performer here, and whose acting is WAY below what you'd hope for from a former Oscar nominee, and female lead Emmy Rossum, who can actually sing quite well but whose acting leaves something to be desired.) The phantom himself, Gerard Butler, doesn't look remotely frightening even after removing his mask, just ever so slightly scarred (he has nothing on Lon Chaney).
Now, I suppose I should mention that the film is perhaps the best LOOKING version of this strange love triangle ever filmed, and that the actual final scene is perhaps an improvement on that of the previous versions, but what would be the point? This is still a movie that will only entertain people who took this big lumbering clumsy giant of a musical seriously in its stage version and who think Andrew Lloyd Webber is one of the great musical geniuses of our time. And as you can doubtless tell by now, I am NOT one of those people.

4. "The Aviator". And here we have a mixed bag entirely within a single film. Martin Scorcese's story of the life and times of "eccentric" millionaire/aviation pioneer/movie maker/madman Howard Hughes takes a long while to get going, and gives us pretty standard show business cliches while it does, along with such stunt casting as Gwen Stefanie of the band No Doubt playing (badly) Jean Harlowe and a drab, colorless Kate Beckinsale as Ava Gardner. But the aviation elements of the story are genuinely exciting and lead to some spectacular sequences, and here's the real surprise: Leonardo Decaprio, who you'd think would be more of a natural for the early, shallower, Hollywood-set scenes but doesn't do much in them, shows a bit more depth and range when Hughes' mental state begins to go downhill and his grip on reality loosens... I must say that he surprised me. The man can really act, at least when the material is strong. And there is one major exception to the drabness of the Hollywood scenes: Cate Blanchett helps make up for her colorless role in "The Life Aquatic" by her brilliant turn here as Katharine Hepburn. Much like Jamie Fox in "Ray", she channels her real-life subject so thoroughly it's almost spooky. Voice, mannerisms, personality... she is Hepburn incarnate. So while I wouldn't quite join the chorus proclaiming this "the best film of the year"... it's too uneven and spotty for that... it has more than enough to recommend it. It may not be Scorcese's best ever, but it's certainly his best in a decade or so. And it contains Blanchett's stunning performance: Oscar nomination, anyone? In a week that also gave us "Meet The Fockers" and "The Phantom Of The Opera", you could certainly do a WHOLE lot worse.

Lightning In A Bottle

Joe's Corner

A documentary about classic blues musicians from the director of "Trainign Day", "Tears Of The Sun" and "King Arthur"? The mind boggles, doesn't it? And at many points, "Lightning In A Bottle" is exactly what you'd expect from the director of Hollywood schlock like that... unimaginative camera work, rockers like Steve Tyler, Joe Perry and John Fogerty who have no business being on stage with these blues giants, and talking head interviews that don't give you as much insight as you'd like... at least, not most of the time.

However... and for once the "However" is a good thing... Martin Scorcese is the executive producer behind this all-star concert film, and the man has assembled a downright unbelievable collection of the biggest names and greatest legends in the field of blues. No matter how Antoine Fuqua falls flat on his face, you're still watching Buddy Guy, Robert Cray, Ruth Brown, Odetta, B. B. King and a virtual encyclopedia of blues greats perform at the peak of their powers, along with archival footage of some of the greats of the past. The incredible power of their music is more than enough to overcome any of the shortcomings of the director. If you have even the tiniest little interest in blues music, you absolutely have to see this film. In particular, if you're tired of pre-packaged, pre-fab pop idols, you need to remind yourself how powerful REAL music straight from the soul can be. And it doesn't get any more real than the music, and the performers, in "Lightning In A Bottle".

Double Feature

Joe's Corner

1. "(Lemony Snicket's) A Series Of Unfortunate Events". Admission, up front: I have never read any of the "Lemony Snicket" books and therefore have no idea how well (or not) this film reflects them, how much (or little) of the books are left in this film, and so on. But strictly regarding the movie itself...

For those not in the know: this is (part of) the story of the Baudelaire children, orphaned by a suspicious fire and send to live with their closest relative, the previously unknown to them Count Olaf. But it seems that Olaf wants them dead so he can collect the money left to them by their parents, and they're soon shuffled off to a series of OTHER relatives... with Olaf always close behind, trying to get them back.

Jim Carrey doesn't so much give a performance as simply do his usual wacky comic routines. I should state here that I often HAVE found him funny, but this is nothing but over-the-top craziness I've seen before... in some cases very specifically, as the scene where Olaf, a failed actor, gives his impression of a dinosaur for his theatre troupe... which is the very same routine he did on a TV special in honor of Steven Spielberg about a decade ago, "doing" a velociraptor. Not having read the books, it's still hard to believe this is the Olaf of the novels. And it's also easy to spot the fact that three stories have been blended into one here, given the way the film is so episodic... the first two "episodes" feel VERY rushed and unfinished (granted the third is the most interesting).

Is there anything good about the film? A fair amount, actually. The three child performers are quite good, and Meryl Streep absolutely shines in the third segment as the Baudelaire guardian who is paranoid about virtually everything and sees doom and disaster around every corner. If you haven't seen her go for the laughs very often in the past, you'll be pleasantly surprised. And the film has a wonderfully spooky look/design to it. But the decision to adapt the first THREE books in this one film, as well as Carrey's sub-standard performance (this is NOT the same man who did "Liar, Liar" or "The Truman Show") leave the viewer with a feeling that something's missing. It also seems to be trying a little too hard to impress us with how "dark" and un-cuddly it is, rather than just letting us see that for ourselves. This COULD HAVE been a modern children's classic, but it misses the mark, while still providing SOME moments of satisfaction.
If there's a second film, it wouldn't take THAT much in the way of adjustments to get it right...

2. "Spanglish". James L. Brooks gave us Mary Tyler Moore, the Simpsons, "Broadcast News", "Terms Of Endearment"... so I guess he can be forgiven an occasional slip, which is what we have here, in this latest attempt to redeem the career of Adam Sandler.

Sandler and Tea Leoni star as the head of a disfunctional family whose lives are changed one day with the arrival of their new Mexican maid (who speaks no English) and her Americanized daughter. We've certainly seen enough of the "magical ethnic type changes the lives of the rich white Anglos he/she encounters" type of film to know how it works, and there are no surprises here. The film manages to be about the rich, white family even though it's narrated from the point of view of the maid's daughter. Sandler, after showing a spark of talent in a couple of earlier films where he was given roles that didn't fit his usual stereotype, is slightly closer to the Sandler we know here... at least three or four times he flies into a rage that looks very familiar to anyone who's seen (fill in the title of any Sandler film that occurs to you). For some reason, Brooks has decided that Sandler has to be portrayed as a virtual saint who makes Ghandi look bad, too, and in order to do this has decided he needs the contrast of Sandler's wife (Tea Leoni) being a sinister, evil woman who would scare the Wicked Witch of the West. It's downright uncomfortable to watch the way Leoni is forced to humiliate and embarass herself for the sake of Sandler's sainthood. I hope she was at least well paid. Cloris Leachman, as Leoni's mother, is also a resident of stereotype city... the crazy, alcoholic, wild old lady. Brooks has given us some marvelous CHARACTERS in the past, so it's a bit of a mystery why he seems to have forgotten that characters are the heart of an interesting film this time around. But as far as "Spanglish" is concerned... it's a film with a few isolated laughs here and there, but not all that many, and plenty to be offended about if you happen to be female, or elderly, or Latino.
Of course, if you happen to worship Adam Sandler, this is the film that seems to be encouraging you to do so literally. But with better movies than this in theatres... in both the art houses and the commercial multiplexes... they're the only group that should feel compelled to see "Spanglish".

Correction

Joe's Corner

Just a note to say that I realized too late that the Zhang Yimou movie I referred to in yesterday's review of "House Of Flying Daggers" is "The ROAD Home", not "The WAY Home". There IS a movie called "The Way Home", but it's a different film altogether and Zhang Yimou has nothing to do with it. I don't feel a great need to correct the typos I make, but I don't want to give the impression I don't know the correct titles of the movies I'm talking about...

House Of Flying Daggers

Joe's Corner

If this film had been released back in the late 70's/early 80's, directed by one of the anonymous martial arts directors who were churning out films back to back in those days, maybe I wouldn't have found it to be a disappointment. Or maybe that's just wishful thinking. As it is, it's directed by the world-renowned Zhang Yimou, and sorry to say, it's not up to his usual standard.

"House Of Flying Daggers" purports to be a historical drama: a group of rebels known as the House Of Flying Daggers, repelled by the actions and policies of the tyrannical emperor, are doing their best to depose him, while a pair of imperial police played by Andy Lau and Takeshi Kaneshiro (who recently co-starred in the much more interesting "Infernal Affairs") are out to stop them. They plan to do this by finding the Flying Daggers agent who it's said is working in the brothel The Peony Pavilion, and applying torture until she talks. But constantly shifting loyalties and hidden secrets will very definitely complicate matters.

Now, doesn't that sound like the makings of a terric historical epic? Plenty of sweep, pagentry and martial arts action? Something that someone like Zhang Yimou could make a near-classic out of? If only.

When all is said and done, what this movie ultimately comes down to is two jealous men fighting over a woman. And I mean two macho men who, as much as both might profess their love, seem more worked up that the other is trying to take what's his, than they are about possible harm coming to their alleged beloved (and if you doubt that, wait until you see the final scenes!). "Mine!" "No, Mine!" (Okay, so that dialogue doesn't actually appear in the film... but it might as well have!)

Well, okay, you might be thinking, but the visuals are amazing, right? Well, yes, they certainly are... up to a point. There are scenes in this movie the likes of which you've never seen. Words can't do justice to the incredible action choreography and incredible look of many scenes... and the "Echo Game" is genuinely astonishing. But two things: One, there's only so far great visuals can carry a film that has uninteresting characters and not much of a plot. And two, you know those Hollywood comedies that seem to feel that if a joke is funny once, it'll be even funnier the fifth time? This movie is like that... if you miss the flying daggers doing an amazing trick, don't worry... you'll get to see them do it at least three more times. By the fourth, it's not quite as mind-blowing.

Good acting can sometimes salvage a movie? Well, yes... unfortunately "House Of Flying Daggers" doesn't have that, either. All three leads have done much better work elsewhere, and as time goes by, it gets a little harder to remember how amazing Zhang Ziyi was in "Crouching Tiger. Hidden Dragon" and Zhang Yimou's "The Way Home", and how it felt like she was going to be the next superstar. Her acting lately seems all very one note, and this film is no exception.

So, what does this film add up to in the end? Some of the absolute best, most unbelievable stunts, visuals and martial arts even a veteran action movie watcher will have ever seen... all of it repeated until you grow a little tired of it, with a not really terrible but not particularly good movie at the center. If you want to see a great film from Zhang Yimou, you can see "Raise The Red Lantern" or "The Way Home" or many others. If you want historical drama with lots of martial arts there's the first couple "Once Upon A Time In China" films. Maybe Zhang's heart just wasn't in it, and he really wanted to be doing another personal film and character study. Let's hope he gets to do that next time.

"I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again"

Joe's Corner

Yes, I said that this was going to be first and foremost a forum for movie reviews. But as long-time readers of mine know, I also have a nearly limitless fascination with ture-life funny stuff: weird news, dumb criminals, questionable grammar, and typos, typos, typos. And my old Dort.dis E-mail subscription list was full of things like that too, so from time to time you'll find it here... like right now. Following are a few short excerpts from an incredibly silly (that's a good thing) book called "It Must Be True", compiled by Denis Parsons. A British import, it contains actual newspaper typos, strange phrasings, and the like, such as these:

1. From a church bulletin: Just a reminder that the fourth Friday noon of February is next Monday, February 28th.

2. From a cook book: When this is done, sit on a hot stove and stire frequently.

3. From the Beverly Hills Shopping News: Coo 45 minutes and cover with a layer of sliced tomatoes. Season lightly with salt and pepper and coo until meat is tender.

4. From a Sunday paper: The thing to remember when preparing a fork supper is to select only food which can be eaten comfortably on a plate with a fork. In the winter, hot boullion or clear soup is very popular and can well be included.

5. From the Yorkshire Gazette: At next Wednesday's children's party it is expected that in two hours 300 children will consume 1,800 sandwiches and 900 fancy cakes, gallons of milk and tea, pounds of butter and a fishfryer, a plumber, a schoolmaster and a railway inspector.

6. From the Boston Globe: Wash beets very clean, then boil. When done, swim out into a pan of cold water and slip the skins off with the fingers.

7. From the Houston Chronicle: Mrs. Annie Besant, 80, was confined to bed today at the home of friends in Wimbledon. A severe child forced her to cancel all engagements.

8. From the Stockport Advertiser: In a recent report of a competition held at one of Pontin's Holiday Camps it was inadvertently stated that it was for "elephant" grandmothers instead of "elegant" grandmothers. We apologize to Mrs. Helen Payne, who gained the third place, for any embarrassment this may have caused.

9. From a Dublin paper: Following on yesterday's defeat of the Government in the Dail, a meeting of the cabinet was hell this morning.

10. From the London Times: World peace: now as never before, it depends for its preservation upon them asses.

11. From the Philadelphia Record: Wrap poison bottles in sandpaper and fasten with scotch tape or a rubber band. If there are smal children in the house, lock them in a small metal box.

12. From the London Times: In the handicrafts exhibition at Wordsley Community Centre, the contribution of the Misses Smith was "Smocking and rugs" and not "Smoking Drugs" as stated in last weeks' report.
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As you can see, this is a wonderfully silly book and this is only a very small sample of its silly contents. Check it out if you get the chance. Don't worry, it's back to movies next time: a review of Zhang Yimou's follow-up to "Hero", titled "House Of Flying Daggers", is coming on Friday. And if you were wondering: today's title is that of a delightful British mock-news series of the 1960's. As far as I'm concerned, no nation on Earth has a sense of humor like the British...

The Life Aquatic

Joe's Corner

With a great movie, you feel a real sense of satisfaction praising it, because you might get a few more people to see it. With a seriously bad movie, like, oh, nothing comes to mind right now (ALEXANDER), it's fun to rip it apart. Then there's movies like "The Life Aquatic".

By all rights, this should have been a terriffic film, and there are MOMENTS when that's exactly what it is. The cast is pretty much a director's dream... Bill Murray, Willem Dafoe, Owen Wilson, Jeff Goldblum, Cate Blanchett, Angelica Huston... and it's written by Wes Anderson, he of such gems as "Rushmore" and "The Royal Tenenbaums". Anderson regular Murray plays Steve Zissou, world-famous oceanographer and modern-day Cousteau, about to go on his latest mission, to find the shark that ate his partner, and kill it. At the same time, he meets his son (WIlson) for the first time in his life, and invites him on the mission for a little belated father/son bonding.

It's very unlikely that anyone with any kind of sense of humor will get through more than five or six consecutive minutes of this film withouth some big laughs, and what's great about them is that they're never over-the-top... Anderson is the king of subtle, dry humor, and he has the perfect actors to get that style across. I particularly enjoyed the obvious fakery of the so-called "documentaries" Zissou and his team film on each voyage, particularly when Murray grabs two guns and makes like a John Woo hero to defeat some alleged pirates.

However, Anderson does have a tendency to go for pathos as his films go on, and while that worked on his earlier movies, it's not so successful this time. The attempt to show us the hidden emotional depths of Steve Zissou and his inner emotional turmoil over the events that develop between him and his son feel just a bit too forced and manipulative: okay, folks, you've had your 90 minutes of fun, now it's time for the Oscar-bait scenes! And Istill insist that to be at its most effective, a comedy shouldn't be much longer than 90 minutes... the longer it goes past that point, the less funny it is, and "The Life Aquatic" is just two minutes short of two hours long. This is Bill Murray, folks, not "The Godfather".

Still, Anderson has yet to make a film without merit, and practically any movie with Bill Murray in the full-fledged lead as he is here has plenty of merit just from that alone. And like I said, there are not shortage of funny scenes. So it's by no means a thumbs down... it's just not the best from any of the folks involved. I can ultimately say that I did enjoy it, and you probably will too (it opens locally December 22), but you might still wish Anderson "better luck next time".

Four Winners And A Loser

Joe's Corner

1. "The Machinist". Do you ever get tired of films where you can figure out the entire plot in the first five minutes? Ever long for a movie that gives you some real food for thought, and still has you putting the pieces together not just until the last minute, but after? Was "Memento" one of your favorite films? If you said "yes" to any of this, "The Machinist" is for you. Christian Bale ("American Psycho") stars as a factory worker who hasn't gotten any serious sleep in a year because of SOME KIND OF tragedy in his past, and as a result is beginning to lose his grip on reality. Bale gives a genuinely riveting performance as a desperate man trying to hold onto the real world but not sure how of of what he perceives IS real. Way too much attention has been payed to the phenomenal amount of weight he lost for the role: forget that, and just sit back and take in one of the most unusual, but genuinely absorbing, movie experiences currently available. Currently a Twin Cities exclusive at the Lagoon.

2. "Mind The Gap". Now and then, movies come into town with absolutely no publicity, no trailers or TV ads, no newspaper ads, no huge stars, and they play for two weeks at theatres a lot of people don't even know exist. When a film like that is as excellent as "Mind The Gap", you just want to grab everyone you know and steer them in its direction while it's still here. Playing at the Parkway (at 48th and Chincago in Minneapolis), "Mind The Gap" is set in an around New York City, and chronicles the parallell stories of a variety of people who all have some sort of emotional handicap keeping them from really participating in life: a single father (writer/director Eric Schaeffer) trying to raise his boy and fearing he's not doing a good job of it; a highly talented singer/songwriter (recording artist Jill Sobule) who contents herself with streetcorner singing in New Jersey because she's afraid of crossing into New York and taking her chances in the clubs; an old man (Alan King, "Memories Of Me", "Rush Hour II") walking from one end of Manhattan to the other to fulfill a bargain made years ago with a recently deceased friend. Each of them is isolated in their own private world of pain, and to watch them gradually connect with others and come to share what they thought they could never share (as they gradually encounter each other and we see how all the "different" stories really tie together) actually makes you feel good about being part of the human race without being sappy and overly sentimental. This film is to 2004 what "The Station Agent" was to 2003, and higher praise than that I'd be hard put to find. This is a movie that doesn't TRY to be a "feel-good" film, and as a result, becomes one masterfully. PLEASE try to catch it while you still can.

3. "Tae Guk Gi: The Brotherhood Of War". When a movie contains as many war movie cliches as this one, it ought to, by all logic, not work, but somehow "Tae Guk Gi: The Brotherhood Of War" succeeds. A young man is drafted into the army of South Korea as the Korean War breaks out, and his over-protective older brother joins with him with the intent of keeping him out of harm's way. But older brother turns out to enjoy the life-risking, blood-spilling adventures he experiences, and the bond between him and his brother (who quickly sees the absurdity and horror of war) begins to splinter. The "Brother Vs. Brother" premise is a mighty powerful one, and if this film goes emotionally overboard at times, and contains a few too many characters you've seen in other war films (you know what's going to happen when a soldier starts proudly showing photos of his girl friend back home, don't you?), you likely will be too wrapped up in the dilemma of these two brothers to care. Against all odds, "Tae Guk Gi: The Brotherhood Of War" (currently an exclusive at the Uptown) is more powerful than it has any right to be.

4. "Ocean's 12". Another movie that's better than it should be. A re-written script that was originally meant as a serious crime drama for director John Woo, a major studio heist blockbuster, and a sequel to boot, filled with big name stars. But it's still fun. Not a classic for the ages, mind you, but there's nothing wrong with plain old well-done entertainment when the folks involved are clearly having such a ball brining it to you. 3 years after the original film, Danny Ocean's crew has been found out by the casino owner they robbed, and he's given them two weeks to return his money, or they're dead. At the same time, a famous French thief challenges Danny to determine which is the BETTER thief (the two events are connected, of course). It's fun to watch the little creative indie-film touches that director Steven Soderbergh throws into the mix to keep the film from seeming too Hollywood, and the movie pokes a lot of fun at the conventions of its genre, with a number of quite amusing in-jokes (and uncredited celebrity cameos). This is not a movie that will teach you the secret of life, but if you don't go expecting that sort of thing, you'll likely have quite a fun time.

5. "Alexander". You KNEW they weren't ALL going to be gems, didn't you? Oliver Stone's dream project, the life story ancient Greek world conqueror Alexander the Great, goes wrong so spectacularly in so many ways there isn't nearly enough space here to list them all. But a few: a Script that skips over so much of Alexander's life that we never see HOW he BECAME a conqueror (is that NOT IMPORTANT?), and contains some howlingly unintentionally funny dialogue. Characters you never get to know as people. Wretched performances, of course: Val Kilmer as Alexander's father over-acting like his life depended on it, and Colin Farrell playing the title role like an ancient Greek male model (with hair to match). But if I had to pick a favorite, it would have to be the mind-bogglingly bad accent of Angelina Jolie (cast as Alexander's mother in spite of the fact that she's only ONE YEAR older than Farrell). It took me the longest time to figure out what kind of accent it was... clearly it wasn't Greek... until it finally clicked: it's Natasha from "Rocky & Bullwinkle"! A cartoon Russian accent in ancient Greece! Every time she opened her mouth I kept expecting to hear her say "Look, Boris, is Moose and Squirrel!" It's kind of hard to take a movie seriously after that. Of course, it's kind of hard to take "Alexander" seriously after the opening credits.

Hello

I'll assume there won't be tons of total strangers reading this, so hello to all my old Merrill friends. You've often asked about whether I'd ever get a spot to post my thoughts (such as they are) on movies and such things... maybe the occasional weird news piece... in general the kind of weird miscellaney I used to do on Dort.dis. Well, here you are. I won't be able to maintain it as often as I did Dort.dis, or review EVERY film I see, or post every silly news item, but I'll do my best. And if there ARE any strangers looking at this, welcome. I wish I could give you a more specific idea of EXACTLY what you'll be seeing here, but as my old friends could tell you, the only thing you can COUNT on is movie reviews. Beyond that, it's wide open. Talk to you again soon...