Klaatu Barada No-No
Yes, it's come to this. The need to deliver some badly needed sarcasm and negativity in these reviews has finally resulted in me dipping into the well... or should that be cesspool?... of turkeys that I've seen second-run recently. But it had to be done. Apologies to those who have no idea what the title of this column refers to... you'll have to have seen the original 1951 version of "The Day The Earth Stood Still" to understand it, as it's inspired by a line that doesn't appear in the remake... and maybe virtually nobody will get it. But it just popped into my head totally unbidden, and wouldn't let me alone until I had written a negative review with that title. Who am I to ignore the magical muse of sarcasm?... I mean, seriously, how often do muses ever directly inspire YOU? Just because it's the muse of sarcasm, I'm supposed to ignore it? I take my muses where I can find them.
Anyhow, let's proceed.
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1. "The Day The Earth Stood Still". What a lovely birthday present. This movie was released exactly on my most recent birthday, and as gifts go I've had better. In fact, it's the sort of gift you wind up returning the very next day. But then, I also got the local release of "Frost/Nixon" on the same day, so things worked out. As for "Day The Earth Stood Still"... I suppose it's somewhat encouraging that casting directors have given up on trying to convince us that Keanu Reeves is a brilliant scientist, or super-hero about to save the world, and cast him as an emotionless alien. At last, a role that doesn't stretch our credibility. But that's about it for encouraging.
Much like the original, THIS version of the story is about a human-like alien being who comes to Earth accompanied by his giant robot guardian in order to save the Earth. NOT the human race, mind you, but the PLANET Earth. Seems that a consortium of alien races has decided that the human race is too much of a danger to the planet and will have to be wiped out in order to save the world. On the plus side, you wouldn't have to worry about not being ready for the digital TV conversion, but overall probably not such a good trade-off. The various governmental forces come to much the same conclusion, and rush to try and stop it.
In the 1951 original, Michael Rennie as Klaatu the alien managed to give us a believably non-human character without human emotions and at the same time not come off as wooden. And when he did eventually have to exhibit some concern for the human race, you believed him. Maybe that's asking too much for a performer of Reeve's range (it shouldn't be, though... he was actually a decent actor in the very early days of his career), but Reeves is SO wooden here you could practically make a table or chair out of him. Oscar winner Jennifer Connelly as the female lead, a scientist attempting to persuade him that the human race is worth saving, should have been a redeeming factor: after all, she actually DESERVED her Oscar (how refreshing!), and has given other Oscar-worthy performances. However, she's no real improvement over Reeves: I was unable to tell what she was feeling in any given scene unless her dialogue indicated it, because her one and only facial expression and vocal tone never changed once during the course of the entire film. And while I don't like to put down child actors, Jaden Smith as Connelly's step-son had better hope his dad Will overcomes his fears of nepotism and decides to give him more acting work in the future... I don't know who else will after seeing this movie. There are some real stand-outs in the smaller roles: the always reliable Kathy Bates is totally believable as the Secretary Of State (government official in charge of response to the aliens after so much of the government has gone into hiding). If aliens were landing, you'd WANT her in charge. And John Cleese is utterly marvelous and even touching in a cameo as a professor trying to persuade Klaatu of humanity's capacity for change. Too bad he couldn't have been equally persuasive with the film's producers and convinced them to give him a bigger role. But Bates & Reeve's combined screen time probably isn't more than 20, maybe 25 minutes. If only...
A lot of people wonder about the special effects in movies like this: if they're really spectacular, that's enough for them. Well, those people will be happy maybe half of the time. I'll admit that the primitive, reptilian part of my brain really responded to some of the destructive scenes... it was kind of cool to watch entire athletic stadiums or even trucks in motion on the highway dissolved into nothingness in mere seconds by the swarms of insect-like creatures. But why, oh why, is movie technology still apparently unable to create a completely digital human-like character who doesn't look like something out of a cheap video game? Klaatu's robot looks mighty impressive just standing still, but as soon as it starts to move I almost felt like laughing. And don't even get me STARTED on the explosions.
And let's face it: if the characters and arguments presented in this movie as reasons for allowing the human race to continue were all the alien visitors had to go on... well, the odds would not be good. How about Mother Teresa, or Martin Luther King, or Nelson Mandela, or Desmond Tutu... but no, Jennifer Connelly trying to convince Reeve of humanity's worthiness by her concern for her badly acting (in all senses of that term) step-son... while her expression never shows a sign of this concern... is what we have to pin our hopes on. Maybe we shouldn't be making any long-term plans just yet.
After the movie was over, I actually heard one other audience member express some disappointment to her companion that the movie was CALLED "The Day The Earth Stood Still" but that at no time anywhere in the film DID the Earth actually stand still.
(Seriously, I am not making that up.) I don't want to be too much of a nitpicker, so I'm willing to let them slide on that one. But there's only so far I can carry that attitude, and I can't take it so far as to actually recommend that anyone rush out to any of the discount theatres where this is now showing to see it. Of course, if Klaatu decided to send his robot after me, who knows? I don't want to be TOO unreasonable about this.
*********************************************************************************
Don't know how soon I'll be able to squeeze this in, but before too many more days you can probably also look forward to (or anticipate with fear and dread, depending)
to some negative commentary on the movie "Twilight". All I'll say right now is that even as a major, long-time fan of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer", I still never really appreciated how good that show was until I saw "Twilight"...
Anyhow, let's proceed.
************************************************************************************
1. "The Day The Earth Stood Still". What a lovely birthday present. This movie was released exactly on my most recent birthday, and as gifts go I've had better. In fact, it's the sort of gift you wind up returning the very next day. But then, I also got the local release of "Frost/Nixon" on the same day, so things worked out. As for "Day The Earth Stood Still"... I suppose it's somewhat encouraging that casting directors have given up on trying to convince us that Keanu Reeves is a brilliant scientist, or super-hero about to save the world, and cast him as an emotionless alien. At last, a role that doesn't stretch our credibility. But that's about it for encouraging.
Much like the original, THIS version of the story is about a human-like alien being who comes to Earth accompanied by his giant robot guardian in order to save the Earth. NOT the human race, mind you, but the PLANET Earth. Seems that a consortium of alien races has decided that the human race is too much of a danger to the planet and will have to be wiped out in order to save the world. On the plus side, you wouldn't have to worry about not being ready for the digital TV conversion, but overall probably not such a good trade-off. The various governmental forces come to much the same conclusion, and rush to try and stop it.
In the 1951 original, Michael Rennie as Klaatu the alien managed to give us a believably non-human character without human emotions and at the same time not come off as wooden. And when he did eventually have to exhibit some concern for the human race, you believed him. Maybe that's asking too much for a performer of Reeve's range (it shouldn't be, though... he was actually a decent actor in the very early days of his career), but Reeves is SO wooden here you could practically make a table or chair out of him. Oscar winner Jennifer Connelly as the female lead, a scientist attempting to persuade him that the human race is worth saving, should have been a redeeming factor: after all, she actually DESERVED her Oscar (how refreshing!), and has given other Oscar-worthy performances. However, she's no real improvement over Reeves: I was unable to tell what she was feeling in any given scene unless her dialogue indicated it, because her one and only facial expression and vocal tone never changed once during the course of the entire film. And while I don't like to put down child actors, Jaden Smith as Connelly's step-son had better hope his dad Will overcomes his fears of nepotism and decides to give him more acting work in the future... I don't know who else will after seeing this movie. There are some real stand-outs in the smaller roles: the always reliable Kathy Bates is totally believable as the Secretary Of State (government official in charge of response to the aliens after so much of the government has gone into hiding). If aliens were landing, you'd WANT her in charge. And John Cleese is utterly marvelous and even touching in a cameo as a professor trying to persuade Klaatu of humanity's capacity for change. Too bad he couldn't have been equally persuasive with the film's producers and convinced them to give him a bigger role. But Bates & Reeve's combined screen time probably isn't more than 20, maybe 25 minutes. If only...
A lot of people wonder about the special effects in movies like this: if they're really spectacular, that's enough for them. Well, those people will be happy maybe half of the time. I'll admit that the primitive, reptilian part of my brain really responded to some of the destructive scenes... it was kind of cool to watch entire athletic stadiums or even trucks in motion on the highway dissolved into nothingness in mere seconds by the swarms of insect-like creatures. But why, oh why, is movie technology still apparently unable to create a completely digital human-like character who doesn't look like something out of a cheap video game? Klaatu's robot looks mighty impressive just standing still, but as soon as it starts to move I almost felt like laughing. And don't even get me STARTED on the explosions.
And let's face it: if the characters and arguments presented in this movie as reasons for allowing the human race to continue were all the alien visitors had to go on... well, the odds would not be good. How about Mother Teresa, or Martin Luther King, or Nelson Mandela, or Desmond Tutu... but no, Jennifer Connelly trying to convince Reeve of humanity's worthiness by her concern for her badly acting (in all senses of that term) step-son... while her expression never shows a sign of this concern... is what we have to pin our hopes on. Maybe we shouldn't be making any long-term plans just yet.
After the movie was over, I actually heard one other audience member express some disappointment to her companion that the movie was CALLED "The Day The Earth Stood Still" but that at no time anywhere in the film DID the Earth actually stand still.
(Seriously, I am not making that up.) I don't want to be too much of a nitpicker, so I'm willing to let them slide on that one. But there's only so far I can carry that attitude, and I can't take it so far as to actually recommend that anyone rush out to any of the discount theatres where this is now showing to see it. Of course, if Klaatu decided to send his robot after me, who knows? I don't want to be TOO unreasonable about this.
*********************************************************************************
Don't know how soon I'll be able to squeeze this in, but before too many more days you can probably also look forward to (or anticipate with fear and dread, depending)
to some negative commentary on the movie "Twilight". All I'll say right now is that even as a major, long-time fan of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer", I still never really appreciated how good that show was until I saw "Twilight"...
posted by Joe Bunce at
9:38 AM
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