The Horror, The Horror

1. "Malevolence". Another of those low-budget horror films that creep into town unannounced, starring no-one you've ever hear of, directed by no-one you've ever heard of, and an hour after you see it, you won't remember what you saw. A quartet of bank robbers flee the cops and head toward the "safe house" one of them has found, way out in the country. Trouble is, it not only isn't "safe", it isn't deserted, either... a legendary serial killer who lived right next door is holding a couple prisoners there, and he doesn't like being disturbed. Nothing original, and once you've seen the first five minutes, you know the rest of the film... right up to and including the final scene. The one semi-interesting thing is their attempt to make viewers think of "The Ring" by making one of those prisoners a mid-thirties blonde woman with a British/Australian accent and a definite resemblance to Naomi Watts. But all that does is make you wish you were watching "The Ring" instead.

2. "Bad Education". In a story supposedly based partially on his early life, Pedro Almodovar brings us the story of a man who was abused by the priest who taught him during Catholic school as a boy, and now, years later, decides that the best way to make some needed money is to blackmail that priest. It's a powerful story that loses just a BIT of its power because Almodovar takes the plot into melodramatic areas that don't really resemble any of the controversial real-life stories that have been in the headlines in recent years, and that seem unlikely to actually happen. Still, there's plenty of strong film-making here, and the very difficult topic is dealt with in a surprisingly restrained way. Of course, it will offend many, but there's a subject here that has to be dealt with, and few could have dealt with it more memorably and effectively than Almodovar.

3. "Hide And Seek". More cheesy horror, this time with a bunch of Oscar winners and nominees: Robert Deniro, Elizabeth Shue, Amy Irving, etc. A widowed father moves with his daughter out into the country to get away from it all, but daughter not only does not get over mom's death, but may be going psycho... or there MAY be an actualy supernatural element at work. Another totally predictable horror film, and the attempt to make star Dakota Fanning look sinister by giving her make-up like Christina Ricci as Wednesday Adams and having speak in a constant monotone are more funny than frightening. Certainly not horror on the level of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer", the blog on which will hopefully be coming tomorrow.