"A Catchy Title Should Go Here"

1. "Bewitched". I suppose you can't really say you didn't know what you were getting into when you go to a movie version of "Bewitched" from the director of "Sleepless In Seattle". But there have been some cases of subversive, sarcastic with making their way into a few of the recent film versions of old TV chestnuts, and there was reason to hope that might have happened again in this instance. HOWEVER...

In case you didn't know, this is not a straight-ahead adaptation of the 60's TV series. Rather, it's about a TV network that decides to remake the show for the new millenium, and the actors who play Samantha (Nicole Kidman) and Darren (Will Farrell) who sign on as the leads and fall in a rather combative love, without Farrell ever knowing that Kidman actually IS a REAL witch. That's not a bad way to approach the subject, but it's about as far as the cleverness goes.

Kidman has played some of the most dynamic, forceful female roles around, and it's rather disconcerting to see her reduced to a simpering ditz that would have been embarassing to watch back in the sixties. The huge popularity of Will Farrell in the past few years is a mystery whose solution has eluded me, and I didn't get an answer in this film. And it was REALLY depressing to see performers of the caliber of Michael Caine and Shirley McLaine in such trivial roles. Michael, I KNOW you don't need the money THAT badly.

The dialogue is third-rate Ryan/Hanks stuff, and once you've seen Kidman and Ferrell's first break-up over her Witchy status and tentative reunion, you've seen the whole movie... it'll happen about a half dozen more times, but there won't be anything you haven't seen already at that point.

If you want to see a good Kidman film, there are many others to choose from. If you want to see a good contemporary story about a witch, check out any of the "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" episodes centering around Alyson Hannigan as Willow. And if you want to see a great Will Ferrell movie... well, I can't help you there. I can, however, help you by suggesting that you don't see "Bewitched."

2. "War Of The Worlds". Confession up front: I'm no great Tom Cruise fan. There are some movies of his that I like in spite of him, but I've actually liked his performance in only three films: "Born On The Fourth Of July", "Magnolia" and "Collateral". This film is definitely not part of that select group: once again, Cruise sleepwalks through yet another role as a self-centered boy in a man's body, who gradually learns to be a good man, this time in the midst of an alien invasion. But it IS, perhaps surprisingly, an addition to the list of Cruise films I like in spite of him. Slowly but surely, this picture won me over.

The old H. G. Wells classic gets an update in more ways than one: not only set in the present in the U.S., we also get that modern classic: the distant, uncaring father whose love for his family is brought to the surface by an earth-shaking (literally, in this case) crisis. Doesn't sound much like the Wells original. But the general outline is still there, even down to some specific scenes and characters clearly taken from Wells' book (the strange character played by Tim Robbins even has a connection to the novel). The opening and closing narration (by Morgan Freeman), and the ultimate fate of the invaders, is straight from the novel, and surprisingly, the rather old-fashioned tripod look of the aliens' machines is retained from the original. None of this would have mattered if the movie wasn't gripping, and well-made... but Spielberg succeeds here where it counts.

In a wise move, he keeps the aliens off-screen for most of the movie, making them all the more ominous and frightening. There are plenty of sequences of alien menace that involve nothing more than creative camera angles, strange sounds and unusual lighting... no special effects at all... and they had me riveted. Even the actual special effects spectaculars aren't monotonous and repetitive the way they almost invariably are in most big budget blow-em-ups... Spielberg knows his craft.

Which brings up the thing that keeps "War Of The Worlds" from being a great movie (of its type): it really is a masterpiece of craftsmanship more than it is one of emotion and feeling. So no, I didn't love this film. But on a pure, adrenaline-fueled, alien invading level, it works quite well. This one won't win any Oscars other than perhaps some technical awards, but I will admit I had fun in spite of myself (and in spite of Cruise).

3. "Land Of The Dead". After 20 years, George A. Romero returns to the modern zombie genre he more or less created with "Night Of The Living Dead". But he does so after there have been quite a string of rather imaginative zombie films over the past few years. Has he equalled the work of the contemporary film-makers who have followed in his footsteps. Well, sometimes. But not often enough.

Romero always went for social commentary as much as horror: racism, military madness, consumerism... they all took their hits in his earlier films. In this movie, Dennis Hopper stars as a far-removed-from-his-constituents politician lording over the residents of a walled-off, zombie free community, not really concerned over what fate befalls "his people" as long as he and his crew can survive. I'm not saying he's based ONLY on George W. ... but if you see a few similarities there, I wouldn't say you were wrong. But ultimately he's really George and far too many others of his ilk. The zombies, however, are beginning to actually be able to reason, and learn how to use guns... even to communicate with each other. The walls of this city may soon come tumbling down.

Romero's attempts at wit are nowhere in the same league as "Shaun Of The Dead" or "Return Of The Living Dead", and the zingers that do come across tend to be because of Hopper's deadpan delivery. "Zombies, man... they creep me out" doesn't read like much on the page, but wait until you hear Hopper SAY the line. The social commentary is sharp and cogent in the first half of the film, but as the story proceeds to the point of the big climactic invasion the film loses track of itself and becomes just scene after scene of "Look, here come the zombies! Shoot them in the head!" And brilliant as Hopper is in the lead, none of the other stars (not even the normally very good John Leguizamo) make much of an impact.

So check out "Shaun Of The Dead", or "28 Days Later", or pretty much any of the other recent films of this genre, if you have a taste for these kinds of chills. As far as Romero is concerned, if he retired now, he could still get an honored place in horror movie history. Too many more films like "Land Of The Dead", however, and all bets are off.

4. "Intimate Stories". This is a genuinely sweet and charming movie. I might add that it's also not a Hollywood film, so the words "sweet and charming" don't automatically equally sticky-sweet or fomulaic.

An Agrentinian dramedy, it tells the stories of several sets of characters from a small town who all wind up having their own various reasons to travel to the big city at the same time... one woman has won a prize from a quiz show and has to go there to claim it, a lonely elderly man hears that his long-missing dog has been seen there and has to go see for himself, a businessman has both personal and professional reasons for the trip. On the way, they sometimes cross paths for short periods of time, learn a little from each other, and complete their journeys. yes, it is indeed that staple of both American and World cinema: the road movie.

It's also a film that manages to be in turns both hilariously funny, somber and dramatic, and strongly sentimental without ever descending into diabetes-inducing territory the way your typical Hollywood movie would, given the same kind of material.

The "Feel-Good" movie has gotten a bad name over the years as a result of far too many sappy pieces of fluff with no characterization and attempts at persuading the audience that life is always wonderful and always works out for the best. You don't have to follow that predictable formula to get a REAL feel-good movie, the kind that will have you leaving the theatre with a GENUINE warm feeling that will stay with you instead of fading as soon as you're out of the auditorium. "Intimate Stories" is a fine example of exactly what I mean.

5. "Fantastic Four". The 3,000th movie adaptation of a Marvel comic this year (what? It's not that many? Well, it seemed like it) brings Marvel's first big superhero TEAM to the screen at last. Was it worth the wait? Well, I'm not the fan I used to be (I haven't read the comic in several decades), so maybe I'm not the best judge. But I thought the two "Spider-Man" movies were terriffic, and "Batman Begins" (yes, I know Batman isn't Marvel) was pretty decent. "Fantastic Four", on the other hand... well, can a movie be called "aggressively average"?